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The Scene

By Gene Mahoney

Send press releases to

(I like him as an actor but maybe he’s losing it…)

Kyle MacLachlan, the guy who played FBI Agent Dale Cooper on Twin Peaks and a husband to one of the girls on Sex and the City has a website dedicated to his dogs. It’s at


Zine World is looking for new reviewers.

To audition, send an email to with a note about yourself and 5 zine reviews, following the format they use for reviews. (If you are not familiar with their review format and style, take a look at


Sub Pop bands playing in San Francisco:

Jul 17: Wolf Parade at the Fillmore,

Jul 28: No Age at the Great American Music Hall,

Aug 21: Beachwood Sparks at Bottom of the Hill,

Sep 21: Fleet Foxes at Treasure Island Music Festival.


Here are some upcoming gigs for Deborah Crooks, one of San Francisco’s best known neo-folkies…



Deborah Crooks & Friends - 8pm

3235 Mission St.

San Francisco

featuring Ben Bernstein, Dianne Nola and Kwame Copeland



Red Vic

Red Vic Sessions - 8pm

1665 Haight St.

San Francisco

7:00 - 7:40 Cara Wick

7:45 - 8:25 Bob Hillman

8:30 - 9:10 Wendy Beckerman

9:15 - 9:55 Alex Walsh

10:00 - 10:40 Deborah Crooks


Velo Rouge Cafe


798 Arguello

San Francisco

Alex Walsh (guitar) and Yoon Ki Chai (violin) sitting in.

More info at


On Saturday, July 19th at 2pm, Folk singer Ryan Mintz (who’s been compared to Cat Stevens by some) will take the stage at Mama Art Café in San Francisco. Mintz can then be seen at 7pm on Sunday, July 20th at BrainWash Cafe & Laundromat, also in San Francisco. And July 12 at 8pm at Karma Coffeehouse in Los Angeles. For more information on Ryan Mintz and these events please visit


Bag of Toys, an acoustic surf-rock band from San Francisco is set to release “their highly anticipated sophomore album” titled Afternooner.

They will be playing their OFFICIAL CD RELEASE SHOW on Saturday, July 12 at The Red Devil Lounge [1695 Polk Street San Francisco, CA 94109] at 8:00 PM and it is a 21+ show. You can visit Bag of Toys at and


people often ask:

what is there after nirvana?

this question cannot arise

because nirvana is ultimate truth

if it is ultimate...there can be nothing after it

if there is anything after nirvana

then that will be the ultimate truth and not nirvana

HAZELDEN is the new nirvana


because mary jane snow said so.

Mary Jane Snow

Truer words have never been spoken. (That was from Hazelden’s MySpace page.)


What is Hazelden? Possibly the greatest band to come out of Los Angeles in a long time. And let me tell you about Mary Jane Snow, their lead singer. She could be the next big thing. Yes, I mean it. And it’s not just her looks. Her talent is…

What’s that? She’s living with the drummer? She’s taken?

Okay. Moving on to our next band…

Only kidding. Seriously, though, Hazelden is a good rockin’ band that’s been getting some buzz around El Lay. I saw them perform a few months ago at Hotel Utah in San Francisco and had a good time, and the crowd seemed to as well. The band was tight (I was especially impressed with the drummer, even more so now that he’s living with the singer) and Mary Jane’s vocals range from almost as melodic as Berlin’s Terri Nunn to much more melodic than Hole’s Courtney Love.

Check out

I missed their first warm-up act, but the second one was very good. They’re a Seattle band called Feral Children and they’ve got this really catchy, quirky sound. No potential hits, but I can picture them attracting a rabid cult-following like the Flaming Lips have.

Their CD, Second to the Last Frontier, lists their website as


The latest listings for the always-persistent Groovy Judy…

July 2008

Friday, July 4

Groovy Judy Band Rocks!

St. James Gate Irish Pub & Restaurant

1410 Old County Rd

Belmont, CA


9:30pm - 1:30am

21+ $3.00

Thursday, July 10

Groovy Judy Band Grooves

Hot Harvest Nights San Carlos

Laurel Park

759 Laurel Street

San Carlos, CA

4:00pm - 8:00pm

All Ages, FREE

Sunday, July 13

Groovy Judy Band Rocks!

Belmont Summer Concert Series

Twin Pines Park

1225 Ralston Ave

Belmont, CA

1:00pm - 4:00pm

 All Ages,


Sunday, July 20

Groovy Judy Band Spreads Positive Vibes

San Mateo Street Fair

South B Street near 2nd Avenue

Downtown San Mateo, CA

10:00am - 5:00pm

Groovy Judy Rocks at 1:00pm

All Ages, FREE

Groovy Judy

Flower power funk-rock with a positive groove!

"If Jimi Hendrix had a sista, it would be Groovy Judy"

Watch videos of me here:


Green Apple Books & Music Presents Will Durst reading & signing his latest book, The All-American Sport of Bipartisan Bashing.

When: Tuesday, July 15, 2008.

Where: Tosca Café, 242 Columbus Ave, San Francisco.

(I just noticed I left out the time it’s at and I deleted the email, and I’m too lazy to look it up. Sorry.)


I don’t necessarily endorse all the listings people send me for this column, but here’s something that I will, like, SO NOT be buying:



R.E.M., Modest Mouse, Death Cab for Cutie, The Decemberists, Spoon,

OK Go, Jarvis Cocker, The Flaming Lips, Public Enemy, Rage Against

the Machine, Moby, Bright Eyes, and many others talk politics in

Under the Radar’s Protest Issue.

Under the Radar conducted photo shoots with musical artists holding protest signs of their own making that will be auctioned for charity (the magazine provided the materials and the artists painted a message of their own choosing on the signs).  Artists who were interviewed for the issue and/or photographed with their signs include cover stars Stipe, Brock, Walla, Meloy, and Daniel as well as Billy Bragg, Bright Eyes' Conor Oberst, British Sea Power, Built to Spill, Jarvis Cocker, Death Cab for Cutie, The Dresden Dolls, Elbow, The Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne, Fleet Foxes, Foals, Michael Franti, The Grateful Dead's Bob Weir, Sharon Jones, Talib Kweli, Jamie Lidell, Metric, Moby, O K Go, Peter Bjorn and John's Peter Morén, Public Enemy's Chuck D, St Vincent, My Morning Jacket, Okkervil River, Rage Against the Machine's Tom Morello, Rogue Wave, Stars, Supergrass, System of a Down's Serj Tankian, and more.


Glad to see the artists above exercising their constitutional rights. Here’s an email I received from an artist having a much tougher time doing that in his country…

Dear Editor,

We have just been informed of the selection of our film "El Señor Presidente" for the 2008 San Francisco Frozen Film Festival, it is for us of great importance to be able to show our film to the bay area audience. This honor also carries the possibility to share with America's most liberal community our cry for freedom, for human rights, for justice, a cry that has been silenced by the Venezuelan government oil sponsored propaganda.

After the Chávez government made public its unconstitutional decision to shut down RCTV (Radio Caracas Television), the 54 years old and most popular TV network in Venezuela, and limit the public's right to be informed by violating RCTV property rights, we decided it was time to risk it all, and against all odds and under all sorts of menace, produce* "El Señor Presidente"* for the cinema.

The film, based on Miguel Angel Asturia's masterpiece, a novel that made the Guatemalan writer a Nobel Laureate in 1967, although written in 1946, the book remains as up to date as it was when Asturias wrote it. I felt it was a vital necessity to show the Venezuelan and Hispanic audiences what the future may hold if society does not compromise with liberty and democratic values. The idea to portray a dictatorial regime in Latin America is not new, but *"El Señor Presidente"*, along with Valle Inclán´s "Tirano Banderas", certainly opened the path for Garcia Marquez ("El otoño del Patriarca"), Vargas Llosa ("La Fiesta del Chivo"), and Roa Bastos ("Yo el Supremo") to express a common evil, suffered in all Latin American countries: the unlimited power of those that rule over their fellow citizens. All things considered, we find that ideologies are only a covert to suppress ideals.

A country that falls apart amidst the degradation of a shameful tyranny and the levels of decomposition of a corrupted society, both opposed to a tragic love story that seems doomed from inception, are the key plot lines of *"El Señor Presidente".* The story develops where irrationality rules, degradation is the law, justice is a mockery and the political and military clique enjoy themselves amidst corruption, while abusing their fellow citizens under total impunity.

With *"El Señor Presidente*", my directorial debut, I wanted to share a vision of a reality only comparable to magical and surreal nightmares. I set it in a semi-futuristic environment, where opulence is contrasted against sordid misery, and where the past and present intertwines within an atmosphere of cruelty and hellish corruption. I certainly do hope that our dark message may contribute to the opposite, the everlasting importance of freedom of expression as a sole unitor of mankind.

We are sincerely grateful to the San Francisco community and especially to the organizers of the Frozen Festival, for this golden opportunity to humbly share our story, our cry for freedom and our message, and to be able tell the people of San Francisco, that we Venezuelans are not in agreement with what is going on in Venezuela, that we believe in understanding, in progress and specially in helping each other to eradicate poverty, violence and misery.

We deeply thank you all for this opportunity,

Truly yours,

Rómulo Guardia Granier
Director "El Señor Presidente"

PS: If you would like to screen the film on line, please feel free to go to, under "foreign", and for the trailer, photos and information, visit or contact our Press Director Beatriz Aguilar at or me directly if you wish.


Okay, I finally broke down. Maria Ferraro has been emailing me info about all these Heavy Metal acts for years and I’ve just ignored them, because I hate Heavy Metal. But I’m in such a good mood since I killed off the print edition of the Herald, so here’s the latest press release she just sent me…


Heavy metal heroes LAMB OF GOD are proud to announce the release of an all-new, 2-disc DVD on July 1, 2008. 'Walk With Me In Hell' is a documentary chronicling every detail in the lives of the biggest band in metal as they completed recording and toured around the world nearly three times over in support of the biggest selling metal album of 2007, the Grammy-nominated, Top 10 charting, Sacrament.

Fans can check out an EXCLUSIVE trailer for 'Walk With Me In Hell' at as well as the band's official MySpace page,


Stanford Jazz Workshop (SJW) presents the 2008 Stanford Jazz Festival from June 27 through August 9 on the Stanford campus in Palo Alto.

More info at


The Knight Life

Bay Area Spotlight on Keith Knight

Cartoon Art Museum Exhibition: June 14 - November 9, 2008

The Cartoon Art Museum is honored to host the first comprehensive exhibition of Harvey and Glyph Award-winning cartoonist Keith Knight, creator of the K Chronicles, (th)ink and the new United Features syndicated daily comic strip The Knight Life.

Keith Knight is an award-winning cartoonist whose two self-syndicated comic strips, his humorous, autobiographical the K Chronicles and (th)ink, which skewers politics and current events, can be found in over 35 alternative weekly, college and daily newspapers and websites nationwide. He's also a frequent contributor to Mad Magazine and ESPN: The Magazine. His new daily comic strip, the Knight Life, has recently launched, courtesy of United Features Syndicate. Cartoon Art Museum, 655 Mission Street, San Francisco, CA 94105.


Hours: Tues. - Sun. 11:00 - 5:00, Closed Monday

General Admission: $6.00, Student/Senior: $4.00, Children 6-12: $2.00

Members & Children under 6: Free

The Cartoon Art Museum is a tax-exempt, non-profit, educational organization dedicated to the collection, preservation, study and exhibition of original cartoon art in all forms.


This just in:

Singer/songwriter, Pez Wilson, evokes feelings of a bygone era when the martinis were dry, the jokes were drier and jazz was more than just a basketball team in Utah. Wielding a voice somewhere between a croon and a petition, with a trumpet held at the ready, Pez is set to bring his soulful brand of modern pop/jazz hybrid to audiences worldwide with his newest EP, which will be available at live shows, online and on Pez's website on a “pay what you want” basis.

Listen to the entire EP at:


*When: All Shows 8:00Pm Thursday – Saturday starting July 10 – August 23rd

*What: Improv, Comedy, Theater

*Who: The San Francisco Improv Festival 2008

*Where: (North Beach Stage): The Purple Onion: 140 Columbus Avenue, San Francisco

*Where: (Union Square Stage) The SF Playhouse Stage 2: 533 Sutter Street, San Francisco

*Price: $20.00 Students, Seniors and TBA $15.00

* Public info: (415) 863-1076 and


I can’t keep repeating how happy I am to have killed off the newspaper and gone exclusively online. For the past few years I’ve been obsessed with how to keep the paper alive and profitable. When I finally realized it was over for the newspaper business, it was liberating to, like, “let go”, man.

I must have really been losing it a year ago. I found this email exchange I had with several people last July. It all began when my godmother (I’m sorry, my “friend” Patricia. She doesn’t want me to call her my godmother for some reason) forwarded me this sappy email…

----- Forwarded message from "Kearney, Patricia" <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Date: Mon, 17 Jul 2006 15:47:23 -0400
From: "Kearney, Patricia" <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Reply-To: "Kearney, Patricia" <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: The Road

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life

just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh

until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe

that there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

that there really is an unlocked door

just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

This is the sacred RED ROSE.

You MUST pass this rose on to at least 5 people within the hour of receiving

this rose.

After you do, make a wish.

If you have passed it on, your wish will come true and love will come your

way shortly.

If not your life will stay the same as it has always been.

Just be nice & pass it on.... May we all be loved so much.

Friend if I don't get this back I can take a hint!

How many people actually have 8 true friends? Hardly anyone I know! But some

of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

Send this to 8 people or more and if this is sent back to you then you know

that you are a true friend..

So I sent it to one of my columnists. I think she was in denial over my desperate cry for help:

Subject: RE: Fwd: The Road

From: "Lana A" <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Date: Tue, July 18, 2006 12:07 pm


Priority: Normal

Thanks Gene,

Hey when do you think the paper would come out?



Then I sent it to another columnist who used to write for the Herald, Opprobrious Mike. He sensed something was wrong…

Subject: Re: Fwd: The Road

From: "Mike xxxxxx" <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Date: Tue, July 18, 2006 9:41 am


Priority: Normal


Yer goin' lavender on me there buddy?!?!?!

BTW: Good news regarding "the boss" (and we ain't talking Bruce) as of Monday

he was 86'd from the joint.

Ankle outta here ya bum!


---- <> wrote:

> Yes, I'm actually forwarding this spiritual chain email...

Actually, I don’t think Mike has returned my emails or calls since I sent that. Then I forwarded it to Kimberlye Gold, who couldn’t conceal her concern for me…

Subject: Re: Fwd: The Road

From: "Kimberlye Gold" <>

Date: Tue, July 18, 2006 9:30 am


Priority: Normal

Hey, where can I find the Herald in SF?

The one person who tried to slap some sense into me was San Francisco’s Hottest New Artist, Laurie Jacobs…

Subject: Gene have you lost your mind?

From: "Laura jacobs" <xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Date: Tue, July 18, 2006 1:25 pm


Priority: Normal

You really have me worried now. Do I have to stop short my vacation and come


Call me when it's free. I'm in Atlantic City...

Hello, my name is Laura and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion f****** chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show. "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a male model I just happen to run into the next day!"

What a bunch of bull *** t.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. F*** them. If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't f***** g care.  SHOW A LITTLE INTELLIENCE AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY CONTRIBUTING TO BY SENDING OUT THESE CHAIN LETTERS.

Chances are, it's YOUR own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email. Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals. Have a nice day.

I sent Laurie’s email to my godmother (uh, I mean my friend Patricia) and she wrote back that she couldn’t believe that I actually forwarded her email to other people.

I tell ya, they’re all out to get me.


This just in:


Who would think that a high school student who had neither training nor experience in the world of animation have, in his sophomore year of high school, his film be shown in San Francisco, California at the “Frozen Film Festival”? Patrick Bowers originally did this just as a “passion project” to try to get extra credit in his Intro to Art class at Detroit Catholic Central High School. This animation will be shown with the other animated films in the Frozen Film Festival on Friday, July 11th, 2008 at 10:25 pm. Patrick’s animation is an all hand drawn animation about all sorts of phobias that many do not know about but could possibly be real.

Patrick first thought about the idea when one of his classmates was talking about a show where they put people on who are afraid of stuff like peaches and balloons. Patrick quickly remarked after that “what if someone was afraid of breathing?” No one really got it but he knew he was on to something. During that homeroom he got most of all his phobia ideas written down and quickly put in his pocket, and for the next 8 months worked on his project in his spare time.

He had some idea on what this was going to cost him. He really stretched the dollar on the project since he had not originally thought of entering it in a festival, and he did it on a budget without sacrificing the quality. He spent a total of $35.00 dollars for the whole project (pens, color pens, paper, and a lamp). He couldn’t afford a backlight, on which to trace, so he bought a lamp and shined it over the paper and squeezed the paper together trying to find the lines on the paper he was tracing. The process of doing animation like this can be compared to cutting the grass on a baseball field with a shaving razor. He had to eventually give in and bought a $60.00 voice recorder so that the screams on the animation would match the drawings.

He finished the animation around early May, 2008, and with a around 400 sheets on paper, calmly put the project on a shelf and then went to work on his next animation: “17 Year Old Mind Goulash”. He didn’t have the correct computer program so he hoped that his computer savvy Aunt Lisa could help him get this “Phobia” on DVD to submit to his art teacher. Even though no Photoshop changes were made from this process to DVD, he had to individually scan in the drawings one by one in a long process of converting it to the movie program.

He finally got it done and was loaned 3 DVDs from his Aunt. He kept one for himself, he gave one to his art teacher (who never took the time to watch it), and, because he could easily e-mail and get the $65.00 fee waved (which I am appreciative of), one to the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival.


This from Linda Schneider at Bezerkeley…

Wednesday, July 16, 12 noon-3 p.m.

Ice Cream Day & Cone Sculpture Festival

12:00 noon-3:00 p.m.

Lawrence Hall of Science, UC Berkeley

Centennial Drive, Berkeley (ed: there is no building number)


Treat yourself to a cool experience as LHS celebrates its 40th

Anniversary. Make and eat your own ice cream as well as try a dish of

Double Rainbow.  Today the cones are not for eating - they're for

creating your own structure or sculpture.


A few months ago I was in San Francisco’s Haight Ashbury and walked into that neighborhood’s famous bookstore, Booksmith, when I saw him. The guy I remember as a kid growing up in New York in the 1970s. The DJ who I used to listen to on 66 WNBC. Oh, I mean 66!!! Dub-ee-you Ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Bee See!! (Maybe you saw the scene in the movie Private Parts with Paul Giamatti’s character instructing Howard Stern how to pronounce the station’s call letters.)

Anyway, I got to meet and shake hands with one of my boyhood idols, Bruce Morrow, AKA “Cousin Brucie”, DJ extraordinaire and the MC who introduced the Beatles at Shea Stadium. And the guy whose current office at Sirius radio is next door to Howard Stern’s. His publicist sent me the book he was promoting, Doo Wop. I could tell you all about it, but why bother when I can just plagarize this…

From Publishers Weekly:

When it comes to doo wop, a pop music style Morrow describes as vocal harmony + rock 'n' roll, the legendary DJ leaves no stone unturned as he traces the music back to its roots in early African-American slave songs. From there, he follows doo wop from its birth and its heyday in the '50s to its decline in the late '60s. As Morrow outlines the specific era of doo wop, he also gives sidebars on the groups—from superstars like the Platters to one-hit wonders like the Chords—that made it big during those years. As would be expected from a man who made his living behind the mike, Morrow displays a comfortable, conversational writing style that works well in this picture-heavy format (e.g., he writes of the romantic appeal of drive-ins: Funny how their popularity coincided with the Baby Boom, huh?). While the music history is the driving force behind this coffee-table tome, it's the cultural asides on topics as diverse as the era's people (Marilyn Monroe, Edward R. Murrow), places (diners, the Automat), sports (Jackie Robinson), politics (the red scare, JFK), kitsch (T-Birds, TV dinners) and entertainment (I Love Lucy, The Wild Ones) that will take readers back to America's golden age. (Nov.)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

What the above review doesn’t mention is the look of the book (the graphics are stunning). Hardcover, 351 pages, and only $24.95? It’s a steal! This tome about a certain age is the perfect gift for any music lover or cultural analyst of any age. At Booksmith, Cousin Brucie enthusiastically fielded questions from the crowd asking them in New York accents. I asked Cousin Brucie about those other, much less famous, now forgotten, DJs I used to listen to on WNBC (Oogie Pringle, Vernon with a V, etc.). I also asked him about the late, great humorist Jean Shepherd on WOR and his face lit up, then he went on to praise Shepherd’s “Theater of the Mind”.

Cousin Brucie

Oh, I never did ask him about this guy I used to know who said he had a little argument with him in the Sixties. It was after this guy’s band got bumped at the last minute from one of the concerts Cousin Brucie hosted at Palisades Amusement Park in New Jersey. The guy claims he begged Cousin Brucie if they could play just one song because all their friends and relatives had traveled from New York to see them play and Cousin Brucie told him to fuck off.

Hee Hee.

Okay. Go out and buy Doo Wop by Bruce Morrow.

We love ya, Cousin Brucie!


San Francisco Public Library Presents

Les Bicyclettes:

Celebrating the 2008 Tour de France

Large Screen Videos in Koret Auditorium

July 2008

Thursdays at Noon

July 3

Pee Wee's Big Adventure (1985, 92 min.)

Pee-Wee sets out to find his stolen special bike, and encounters bikers,

bums, con men and cowboys in his search. An '80s cult classic!

July 10

We Are Traffic (1999, 50 min.)

A look at the early years of Critical Mass (a mass movement of bicycles

that takes over the streets once a month) which started in San Francisco

and has spread throughout the world. Plays with short film Return of the

Scorcher (1992, 28 min.)

July 17

Triplets of Belleville (2002, 81 min.)

When a cyclist is kidnapped from the Tour de France, a grandmother, her

dog and a trio of jazz-era stars set out on a journey to rescue him.

Animated; in French with English subtitles.

July 24

Breaking Away (1979, 100 min.)

When top-notch cyclist Dave learns that the world's bicycling champions

are always Italian, he attempts to turn himself into an Italian.

Nominated for 5 Academy Awards.

July 31

Beijing Bicycle (2000, 113 min.)

When Guei's bicycle is stolen and sold to Jian, the two young men are

brought together on a voyage of self-discovery. In Mandarin with

subtitles in English.

Large Screen Videos

Thursdays at Noon

Koret Auditorium, Lower Level

Main Library, 100 Larkin Street (at Grove)

All films are shown with captions when possible to assist our deaf and

hard of hearing patrons.

All programs at the Library are free. Sponsored by the Audiovisual Center

and supported by the Friends of the San Francisco Public Library. To

receive monthly e-mail about upcoming Audiovisual Center programs,

please send a request to: <>


This from Jay Gifford in San Francisco:

The "Victorian Home Walk" tour has been showing visitors our world famous architecture for over twelve years. The tour departs daily (year round) at 11am from Union Square (corner of Powell & Post streets) and no reservations are required (participants just show up).  We explore Pacific Heights with its colorful row houses, famous mansions and beautiful gardens. The tour includes a visit inside of a period "Queen Anne" Victorian. The walk is easy, the pace leisurely, and there are no hills to climb. The area we explore is banned to tour buses, so we take the public bus to get there, which makes this a "green" tour. We have a standard policy that any travel writer can take the tour for free any day, just give us your business card as payment.  Complete information about the tour can be found online at:


I sure won’t be there, but if you want to go…

Founder Sam Daley-Harris started RESULTS 28 years ago to help people realize they have the power to build champions in Congress and in their communities to end global poverty. There are now 100 chapters in the U.S. and chapters in six other countries.

On Thursday, July 10, 2008, at 7pm. Daley-Harris will come to Santa Rosa and lead a workshop to start a RESULTS group in Sonoma County. The meeting will be at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation, 547 Mendocino Avenue in Santa Rosa.

To learn more about RESULTS visit

Here's another solution from the late Sam Kinison:

"You want to stop world hunger? Stop sending these people food. Don't send these people another bite, folks. You want to send them something? You want to help? Send them U-Hauls. Send them U-Hauls, some luggage, send them a guy out there who says, ‘Hey, we been driving out here every day with your food, for, like, the last thirty or forty years, and we were driving out here today across the desert, and it occurred to us that there wouldn't BE world hunger, if you people would LIVE WHERE THE FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! NOTHING GROWS OUT HERE! NOTHING'S GONNA GROW OUT HERE! YOU SEE THIS? HUH? THIS IS SAND. KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA BE HERE A HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW? IT'S GONNA BE SAND! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! GET YOUR STUFF, GET YOUR SHIT, WE'LL MAKE ONE TRIP, WE'LL TAKE YOU TO WHERE THE FOOD IS! WE HAVE DESERTS IN AMERICA ?--- WE JUST DON'T LIVE IN THEM, ASSHOLES!'"


Will Franken was a very popular performer in San Francisco. Yes, I wrote “was”. No, he didn’t die. He moved to New York. I caught up with him and got this email monologue. I mean interview…

> Okay, Will -- It's going to be brief. A new feature in the Herald is a

> series of brief interviews. Here goes:


> GM: So, tell us what's happening with you lately.


WF: Well, Gene, today I went to the Manhattan DMV to get my North

Carolina license which was due to expire in a week changed over to a

NY license. I was thrilled to find out I didn't have any outstanding

warrants on my old license. (I had a bit of a snafu a few years ago

when the SFPD impounded my car for not having California registration

and for not switching my license over to a California license. I

wonder if I should even confess this publicly. . .oh, well). So that

felt pretty good. It got me out of the house for a few hours and I

felt like I did what I call a "grown-up" thing. As soon as I get my

new license in the mail, I'm planning on renting a car and taking a

road trip to god knows where. I've been pretty depressed these past

few months and the one thing that can put a smile on my face is the

idea of hitting the open road and heading to random small towns,

eating biscuits and gravy and chicken and dumplings and flirting with

simple-minded Southern girls. (I don't mean that as an insult, I

think a simple mind is a turn-on, actually).

I've been writing a lot of blog entries lately. I don't really know

why I spend so much time on these other than that I have this thing

where every time I write something, I don't feel like it's good

enough, so I force myself to try and write something even better.

Before you know it, I've spent hours, days even, writing, writing,

writing. I'm starting to get really sick of my laptop computer. I do

so much writing on it--long-form pieces even--that the grammar and

sentence structure, placement of commas, etc. can really make my head


Last night I had an idea for either a recorded piece or a live piece,

I'm not sure which. The premise was, a girl comes into her apartment

and begins to undress. Her phone rings. She answers it and a male

voice on the other end starts singing--

"If you look out your window, you will see a scary man.

That man is me.

I'm in the tree."

The man continues to sing as the girl looks out the window.

I'm not sure where it's going to go, but I'm hoping to connect it

somehow to this other idea that I've had lingering for awhile about a

call center for an organization called Queer Activism. A tired gay

man answers the phone and says:

"Queer Activism. . .sorry, we're closed today. . .no, normally we're

open at this time, but we're just really tired today. . .maybe try us

tomorrow. . .yeah, whatever."

I don't know what's that about, but that's how the subconscious

works, I guess.

Other than that, I'm still kind of up in the air about how long I'd

like to stick it out here in New York. Our country has become so

globalized lately, even a town like New York has started to lose its

identity. Basically, I'd like to go wherever the money for comedy is.

A town that doesn't hold television as the be-all and end-all of arts

and entertainment. One of these days, I'd like to end up in Britain

working for the BBC, but that may be awhile away yet, it's hard to say.

I've got some doctor's appointments next week which I'm kind of

looking forward to. Also, I just returned from a gig in Portland, OR.

I really enjoy that town. I had only been there once before at night.

I did a show and then I was off to Seattle, so I didn't really get to

see much of the town. I was there for a couple of days this time and

I really enjoyed it. The weather, the way the girls look, the cheaper

cigarettes. It's an interesting town, all right. There's no real

landmark to point to and say--hey, you've got to see THIS while

you're in Portland (like the Golden Gate in SF or the Space Needle in

Seattle) so I didn't feel like I was missing anything by just walking

around the city and taking a gander at the old buildings.

Anyway, that's about all there is in my world at the moment. Still

trying to figure out how to make money at what I do, happy that my

driver's license wasn't suspended, and still writing blogs. Not sure

what lies on the horizon.

God bless, Gene.


Thanks, Will. The rest of you check out

See you next month.###


All contents © 2008 by Gene Mahoney