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A Swift Kick…

By Mr. Fabulous

I had just boarded my flight to New York, and sat down in first class, when a stewardess told me I was in the wrong seat.  I had taken the aisle seat, 3B, and the stewardess said that I should be sitting in the window seat.

I stood up and pulled my ticket out of my pocket.  I showed it to her.  “There, it says ‘3B,’ right?”

The stewardess squinted at my ticket.  “Well, that is just the darnedest thing.” She turned to a tall blonde girl who was standing behind her.  “I’m sorry, miss, but somehow you both got assigned the same seat.”

The girl looked at my ticket, then at me, then at the stewardess.  Her eyes started to fill with tears.

I smiled at them both.  “No problem.  I’ll just take the window seat.”

The stewardess shook her head.  “I’m sorry, this is a full flight.  That seat is already taken.”

The blonde girl blinked at the stewardess.  A tear rolled down her cheek.

I turned to the stewardess.  “I could take a seat in the back.  Maybe you could comp me or something…?”

“I’ll check.  But I believe this flight is sold out.”

A man stepped around the stewardess.  “Excuse me.  I’m traveling with her.” He gestured to the blonde girl.  “I can give her my seat.”

The stewardess shook her head.  “Sir, if you disembark, your seat will get turned over to our waiting list.”

He shook his head.  “Please.  Can’t she just take my seat?”

“I’m sorry, sir.  If you’ve checked baggage and you get off now, I have to call the air marshal.  And your seat will automatically go to the waiting list.”

The blonde girl started to whimper. A silent tear swelled in her right eye, then slid down her shiny cheek.  She wiped her hand across her face.

The man tried once again with the stewardess.  “Please, you don’t understand—”  He leaned close to her.  “—This is Taylor Swift.  We need to get her to New York.  She’s playing Madison Square Garden tonight.”

“I’m sorry, sir.  Just give me a minute, please.”  The stewardess turned and rushed up to the cockpit.

I turned to Taylor and her friend.  “Listen guys, I’m so sorry about this.  I totally know what it’s like.  I have to get to New York, too.  I’m doing an AT&T audition tomorrow.  I usually do movies, but my agent thought—”

“Please—”  The man cut me off.  “Just give us a moment, okay?”

The man started to pet Taylor’s head.  Gradually, she leaned her ear against his shoulder.  After a moment, the tears stopped.  She stared off into the distance.

The stewardess returned and grabbed my arm.  “Sir, let me see your ticket.”

I handed her my ticket.  She put on her reading glasses and held the ticket up in front of her face.  “Sir, you’re not sitting in first class.  You’re back there, 3B.”

I looked at my ticket.  “Oh, I assumed I was in first class.  I’m auditioning for an AT&T commercial tomorrow—”

“You’ll need to get your stuff and move.”

“Oh, okay.”  I reached up and grabbed my laptop bag from the overhead.  I turned to Taylor and her friend.  “Sorry about that.  Good luck.” 

I nodded to the stewardess and shouldered my bag.  I walked into the economy cabin, and found row 3.  I stuffed my laptop into the overhead, then climbed over a passenger and squeezed into my middle seat.###